


dancing with your ghost

by coffee_shop_vibes



Series: sounds like a song [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, angst but only a little, haikyuu au, sad bokuto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28386567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_shop_vibes/pseuds/coffee_shop_vibes
Summary: I put the record onWait 'til I hear our songEvery night I'm dancing with your ghost*****************more sad bokuto because I like the pain
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: sounds like a song [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024210
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	dancing with your ghost

Bokuto’s golden eyes flashed as lightning struck across the sky. Hidden under a canopy of trees, Bokuto was able to stay out of the downpour of rain. Bokuto could feel the bark bite into his back through the thin material of his t-shirt. He pulled his knees up against his chest and fiddled with his shoe laces. The sun had been hidden behind the clouds for the past few hours, but the air was still hot and humid from the rain. Sweat dripped down his forehead, and a tear fell down his cheek. He checked the time on his phone. It was getting too late for him to be out, but he hadn’t felt this type of peace in a while. 

Thunder boomed, and Bokuto could feel it vibrate through his body. He wondered if this was the way the sky communicated. If this was some message something above was trying to give him. Somewhere, in the most hopeful part of his mind, he wondered if this was Akaashi telling him he missed him. 

Bokuto scoffed and chuckled as another tear fell down his face. Bokuto was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he wished he could bottle it all up. Wished that the emotions would disappear, and that he wouldn’t have to feel anything ever again. He wiped the tears off his cheeks. 

Sighing, Bokuto pushed himself up off the ground. The field in front of him was empty and grey. He could barely see ten feet in front of him with how hard the rain was falling. With one hand raised, he felt the rain pelt his finger tips. It was cool, and Bokuto cupped his hands, gathering the water in his palm. As the water started to overflow, Bokuto splashed the fresh water into his face. He hoped it would get rid of the redness on his face and in his eyes. 

Bokuto glared at the darkening sky. He spent the next few minutes yelling at the sky, screaming his feelings at the world. “Why’d you go away, huh? I’m still yours, so why’d you have to go?”

Bokuto knew he wasn’t going to be able to let go. He was holding on too tight to what were now just memories. Intangible memories that made his mind fuzzy and his head hurt. Unreachable touches Bokuto only wished he could feel again. He looked up at the grey sky again becoming dizzy. 

He swore his head was up in the clouds, thoughts racing by like planes. “Heaven only knows where you are now.” Bokuto didn’t need this stress in his life. He was about to enter his second year of college. He didn’t need the memories from his past. He didn’t want them. 

“How do I love again, Akaashi? How do I trust someone like I trusted you? I don’t know if I can put my all into another person. I don’t even know if there’s another person that can handle my all like you could.” Bokuto felt like all he could let out were sighs.

Hours later, Bokuto was back in his small studio apartment. The windows let streams of moonlight in now that the clouds had cleared away. Stars dotted the sky, but Bokuto could barely think of anything other than gunmetal blue eyes. 

Staying up all night, Bokuto couldn’t find any comfort. “I’m alright. I’m alright. I’m alright,” Bokuto repeated to himself, as he paced the empty space in front of his bed. “You’re just harder to see than most.” He took a sharp breath as he spotted the record player. 

“Akaashi, what about this one?” Bokuto shouted across the store, basically jumping up and down pointing at a bright neon yellow record player.

“Yellow?” Akaashi asked, hesitantly making his way closer. “Isn’t it a bit much?”

Bokuto pouted, pursing his lips. “But it’s yellow like on our uniforms. Don’t you want something else to remind you of the team?” Bokuto’s hair deflated as he lightly kicked at the side of the desk the record player was resting on. 

“Bokuto, you remind me plenty of the team.” Akaashi continued to browse the aisles. The music shop they were in was quiet. The windows were covered by posters, and the records hadn’t seen a duster in years. Bokuto and Akaashi could feel their throats becoming thick with film. Bokuto gave up on the search for a record player knowing Akaashi would never settle for the player covered in stickers of dogs like he would. Akaashi preferred the minimalist aesthetic. Bokuto only wanted to bring a splash of color to his monochromatic room. 

__

Bokuto flipped through baskets of records hoping to find a gift for Akaashi. What’s a record player without a meaningful record? Bokuto looked up and around the store. He spotted Akaashi running his hands over a pastel blue player. ‘It wasn’t fair,’ Bokuto thought. ‘How could someone look like an angel in this dusty old record shop.’

__

Akaashi stepped back from the player. “I think I’m going to get this one.” Bokuto nodded in agreement, continuing to flip through records. Bokuto’s hand froze on one record. 

__

“Kaashi, isn’t this that one album. That has that one song. You know the one, right!” Bokuto raised a record above his head, swinging it around as he walked closer to Akaashi. “We should listen to it right now, I bet they would let us try it. Come on let’s do it!” Bokuto’s words were coming out at the speed of light, and Akaashi could only nod along. 

__

Within minutes, they had the record out and playing. Bokuto reached out and grabbed Akaashi’s hand, pulling him closer. “Let’s dance,” Bokuto’s eyes were wide and shining. Akaashi had no chance of saying no. 

__

Bokuto floated them around the room through the aisles, arms wrapped around Akaashi’s waist; Akaashi’s arms wrapped around Bokuto’s neck. They stopped and swayed near the register, Bokuto murmuring the lyrics with his eyes closed. 

__

_“Woah, my love, my darling  
_ _I’ve hungered, hungered for your touch.”_

__

Akaashi tried to hide his smile, and rested his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. The grip around his waist grew tighter. 

__

_“Are you still mine_  
_I need your love  
_ _I need your love”_

Bokuto flinched out of the memory. He would never have a moment with Akaashi like that again, but he could pretend. He made his way over and put the record on. He waited through the first song. Waited until he heard their song. Every night, Bokuto played the record, dancing with his ghost. 

He could feel tears fall down his cheek but didn’t move to wipe them away. He wrapped his arms around his body and bent over. He could feel the sobs shake his whole body. There was nothing he could do to stop it now. His breathing was uneven, and his vision was unclear. Everything in the room blurred into one gunmetal blue. Another sob escaped his throat. 

“I never got the chance to say a last goodbye.” Bokuto unwrapped his arms and sat on the floor. He groaned and punched the floor. “I know I gotta move on. I know you would want me to, but it hurts to try. ‘Kaashi, I don’t want to move on.” 

Bokuto couldn’t believe that he would be able to love again.


End file.
